First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the day after is always just damage control
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
