I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
