id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
false alarm, still single
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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