it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
