It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
