Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So squirting runs in the family.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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