my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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