How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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