I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
