That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
