Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
