Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
