He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He had one of those small greek statue penises
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
