Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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