Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
