Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
