dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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