that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
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