you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We have started to decorate penises.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
