Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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