And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
