Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
