'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
