First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
