Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
