I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
