STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
