Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

Fav 10 1206 2336
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(708): View more from Illinois

blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes

Fav 24 8429 1006
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(319): View more from Iowa

we need to stop having unprotected sex.

(1-319): View more from Iowa

ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.

Fav 31 1473 4486
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(440): View more from Ohio

Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

(1-440): View more from Ohio

Perfectly normal.

Fav 15 6978 1464
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(336): View more from North Carolina

christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms

Fav 27 6211 1376
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(904): View more from Florida

Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.

Fav 11 2359 962
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(785): View more from Kansas

They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea

Fav 5 2305 872
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(703): View more from Virginia

All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.

Fav 4 668 452
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.

Fav 0 9 44
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