Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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