i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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