I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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