talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
