She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
