My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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