pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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