i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
