So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
