If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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