woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
