my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I could fuck to npr.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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