What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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