I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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