Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
