I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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