How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
