oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
