One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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