You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
