afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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