ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
