Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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