is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
