He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
