Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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